Attention seekers

Many people, especially those with high levels of the trait of narcissism, crave attention in order to boost their egos and self-image. They need other people to validate their importance. Attention, preferably admiring attention, is fuel for the ego and the more attention such people get, the better they feel, so that for many, attention becomes a necessity, something they can’t live without. Attention seekers come in different varieties:


The Socializer

Everyone loves the Socializer. He or she is fun, the life and soul of every gathering. Socializing rules their life to the detriment of their education, career, family or even every-day functioning. He can’t be bothered with mundane and routine responsibilities and may even jeopardize his job because he is a ‘talker’ and easily distracted. At work he or she is more interested in mixing, gossip, lingering at the water cooler or tearoom than in actually doing what they are paid to do.

He wants a life free of bother, conflict and effort but mostly he wants people to like him. He is afraid of confrontation or displeasing anyone who might be part of his audience, which is virtually everyone. So she agrees with everyone (to their face at least) and won’t stand up for herself or those close to her because that might cause someone not to like her. The Socializer is a disappointment to anyone who relies on him. His audience always comes before his partner and family who eventually become burdened by the responsibilities he shuns in favour of his own recreation.


The Performer

The Performer is enthusiastic, dramatic, theatrical, exhibitionistic, charming and provocative. She loves the limelight, loves being the centre of attention and turns on a star performance to get it. She makes friends quickly and easily with gushing enthusiasm but she is artificial, shallow and insincere. She has no real interest in other people except as an audience, except as beings who shower her with attention and admiration. She is the star and everyone else the supporting players in her self-created drama. She is exhausting to be around, constantly demanding attention, reassurance, approval and praise. She has little capacity for introspection or sound judgement and is gullible, trusting and easily led and influenced. She is a slave to fads, fashions and anyone who flatters her. Her friends and partner soon discover that she is selfish, inconsiderate and untrustworthy.</o